Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry on November 30, 2022
Genres: Biography & Autobiography / Entertainment & Performing Arts, Biography & Autobiography / Memoirs, Performing Arts / Television / Genres / Comedy, Psychology / Psychopathology / Addiction
Pages: 425
Format: Audiobook
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"The beloved star of Friends takes us behind the scenes of the hit sitcom and his struggles with addiction in this candid, funny, and revelatory memoir that delivers a powerful message of hope and persistence. "Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead." So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who traveled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us. . . and so much more. In an extraordinary story that only he could tell--and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it--Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he's found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends, sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humor, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all. Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening--as well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the book fans have been waiting for"--
I am Gen X. I was a sophomore in college when Friends first hit the airwaves and I was a newly minted 19 years on this planet. I became an adult to the backdrop of Friends and Matthew Perry. While I grew up, in a way, with Friends, I grew up and it became nostalgia for me and not immersed as I had been during the duration of the show. I can still kill it at Friends trivia even though I’ve not seen an episode in years. But of course I can, I’m Gen X. When I was just randomly perusing Libby for books for the challenges Kristin and I are doing I saw this book as an audio book available immediately. I tagged it for later as I had a challenge book to listen to. But it haunted my like an old memory of my youth. So, while I’m reading another book I set this up to listen to as well. I mean bonus points that it was narrated by Matthew Perry which was the real draw, just to hear that voice again.
Like I said when I decided to read this via audio book it was 1000% because it was narrated by Matthew Perry. Not going to lie, I was a bit taken back as it sounded like he was slurring his words as I started listening. My internal voice was literally like dude, you drunk reading this? Seriously? That feeling didn’t last and I almost wonder if it was my brain connecting the voice I knew vs the voice that had been through so much all these years later. Ya’ll, let me warn you. If non-fizzified language offends you then this is not the book for you. The sheer volume of f bombs alone but there’s a lot of harsh language in this book. Additionally, heavy drug use, casual sex, and some moderately graphic medical stuff could trigger you this is not your book. I mean I go to sleep to true crime (hello Dateline 24/7 on Peacock) so not much shocks me these days.
If I’m being honest, half my stars for this book are pure nostalgia. While I appreciated the frank honesty around his struggles not only with drugs but also the struggles of a boy growing up feeling abandoned by circumstances that started when he was just an infant and his common phrase ‘unaccompanied minor’ it’s difficult to put together much empathy when those struggles are back dropped from a place of wealth and privilege. The means he had to get as high as a kite and the places he could go to get clean time after time felt like a slap in the face when you know an average addict and the steps they go through just to maintain while waiting for beds in rehabs and detox. His skip the line and back to the action just didn’t resonate to the average person well. On another note I struggled with some of the time jumps. He wove back and forth between events and stories in various chapters and interludes. While hard to keep track as the book developed it almost felt like sitting down to catch up with an old friend as they remembered things they wanted to share even if out of order. I feel like he could have dug deeper (he went pretty deep and raw) but maybe he wasn’t there yet. I feel like there was some undiagnosed mental illness as well that created the storm that fed his addictions and life choices. Things he said just jumped out to me that felt more like self-medicating with his addictions. I left the book wondering if he’d dug deeper to do the work those underlying issues could have been addressed instead of just staying in the addiction/recovery cycle. Just my own thoughts.
Despite the flaws I did enjoy the deeper look into the slice of life that this book provided. I will say if you go audio book you completely do not get the forward that was written by Lisa Kudrow – literally half a star as I was looking forward to that.
About Matthew Perry
Matthew Perry was an American-Canadian actor, comedian and producer. He gained international recognition in the 1990s for playing Chandler Bing on the NBC television sitcom Friends (1994–2004), and earned a Screen Actors Guild Award for the role.
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