Counting the Cost by Jill Duggar Published by Gallery Books on September 12, 2023
Genres: Biography & Autobiography / Personal Memoirs, Biography & Autobiography / Religious
Format: Audiobook
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For the first time, discover the unedited truth about the Duggars, the traditional Christian family that captivated the nation on TLC’s hit show 19 Kids and Counting. Jill Duggar and her husband Derick are finally ready to share their story, revealing the secrets, manipulation, and intimidation behind the show that remained hidden from their fans.
Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn’t possible for them. As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family’s way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle’s nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines. She didn’t protest the strict model of patriarchy that her family followed, which declares that men are superior, that women are expected to be wives and mothers and are discouraged from attaining a higher education, and that parental authority over their children continues well into adulthood, even once they are married.
But as Jill got older, married Derick, and they embarked on their own lives, the red flags became too obvious to ignore. For as long as they could, Jill and Derick tried to be obedient family members — they weren’t willing to rock the boat. But now they’re raising a family of their own, and they’re done with the secrets. Thanks to time, tears, therapy, and blessings from God, they have the strength to share their journey. Theirs is a remarkable story of the power of the truth and is a moving example of how to find healing through honesty.
Unless you are literally a hermit living on a deserted, undiscovered island somewhere with zero access to anything outside yourself, you have at the minimum heard of the Duggar family. Maybe you watched their shows. Maybe you followed the social media. Maybe you just watched the media at each fallout of the family. In some way, you know of this family and probably know, or think you know, their stories. The truth is, you can never truly know their story. Even when they step out in risk to share their story, you will still only get what they choose to share.
I was pleasantly surprised by Jill’s narration of this book. The way she told her story as she was, and how she believed as she grew up and became her own person. Not as hindsight, not through the future lens of herself, but as herself at the time. I love how she addressed the Josh situation throughout. She didn’t avoid it, but didn’t feel the need to dig into it, thereby protecting her own self and privacy. You get a feel of her struggles from a young people pleaser to a woman coming into her own. She shares her own truth without loading the bus, not calling out others unless absolutely necessary (she kept conversations she shared as sibling, friend, etc., without names). But sometimes, that bus is needed.
For clarity, I did not grow up anything near IBLP. But I did grow up with a controlling father. Many things she shared, especially after her marriage, resonated with me regarding her relationship with her father. Not for the same reasons, but that control. Everything she shared, I felt like we’d all seen and not recognized it. But it was always there, on the screen, in the tabloids, even in interviews. That controlled controlling wasn’t just to his children but to his wife and everyone around him. He held the strings and used (uses) Biblical authority to continue to get his way. And it all went to his head. I loved that Jill is able to recognize that, much like her, her mother was also part of that control. Maybe I’m wrong, but I feel like Michelle was part of the strings – not the pulling but the being pulled. Overall, this book was such a heartfelt glimpse into everything Jill and Derick have gone through to this point, and I like her more for her authenticity.
About Jill Duggar
Jill Duggar grew up as star on the hit TLC reality TV show 19 Kids and Counting. She was the first Duggar daughter to marry, and over 4.4 million people tuned in to watch the two-hour wedding special on television. Her life with husband Derick Dillard was featured on the show, Jill & Jessa: Counting On, and Jill is currently the oldest daughter living outside her parents’ home. Along with three of her sisters, Jill has previously written and published the New York Times bestseller Growing Up Duggar. Jill and Derick Dillard live in northwest Arkansas with their children.
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